Sunday, October 8

*polishes halo*

I've not been too well these last few weeks, the depression's been rearing it's ugly head again and I've been finding it hard to get on top of it. When I'm depressed I go into auto-pilot mode. I'm up and running (well, kind-of...) but I'm really just going through the motions until I can lie on my bed and close my eyes. Then I go into shutdown until it's time to get up again. Restart. Auto-Pilot. Shutdown. I'm basically a robot.

However, I have been trying very hard this weekend to keep myself out of bed, but not do so much that I make myself feel unwell. It's a tricky balance, but you get the hang of it after a while. So yesterday, James and I spent the afternoon wandering round a National Trust castle, and then we walked all the way around the top of the moat, and, because I live in the Fens (very, very flat) you could see for miles. The air was all fresh and clear, I was with my lovely boyfriend, and it really made me feel better.

Then today I dropped James off at the station, got home and started feeling all down again. So I forced myself to get up, got into my car and went swimming for an hour. Sheer agony, it was, but BRILLIANT!! I felt AMAZING after I'd got out of the pool, so much so that I think swimming might be some miracle wondercure for me. I'm going to go twice a week from now on. I went onto google and typed in 'swimming + depression' to see if there was some sort of scientific evidence to explain my change in mood, but most of the websites were about the health benefits of swimming with dolphins. I don't ever want to swim with dolphins. They're sinister.

What's great is that my body actually made some endorphins instead of letting them slide into my pillow while I sleep/doze.

Oh, and I haven't smoked for a week. Hurrah!

10 comments:

Master of the obvious said...

Wow, good work on discovering the link between exercise and Seratonin (though reduced Seratonin is a symptom rather than a cause of depression). Maybe you should Google 'smoking +depression' too eh?

Gem said...

Crikey, you're disagreeable!

Moto said...

Sorry, but I think that everyone with a tv should know this. Also, it's not a miracle cure. Like any other drug you will have to increase your dose to feel the same euphoria. Not that you should stop doing it, it is a good balance.

Gem said...

I am not completely stupid. I did already know something about the chemistry of the human brain. I was just googling for fun.

Tom Paulin, GM Young Lecturer in English Literature at Hertford College, Oxford said...

I believe this is the same guy who posted about the Revels. I think you probably know him personally, young lady, but he's not brave enough to let you know who he is. Never mind, it's always a pleasure to see him showing off his incisive intellect, although the effect would have been even more impressive if he had a) spelt serotonin correctly and b) not capitalised it like an illiterate.

Gem said...

I don't like anonymous people. Also, how do you know it's a 'he'?

moto said...

Good catch Tom. Yes, rather clumsy I'll admit, but you wouldn't expect anything more from one of God's chosen, would you? No I'm not the same guy 'who' passed comment about the Revels, but I'm glad to see that you are able to find time in your busy schedule of anti-semetism to read all entries and comments in this log.

I'm just Tom Paulin from the block said...

It's anti-semitism. So, do you know the lady then?

tom paulin eats shoots and trolls said...

No I'm not the same guy 'who' passed comment about the Revels,

By the way, does your use of inverted commas suggest that you think I have made a grammatical error? "Belm," as we used to say in Ireland. You buffoon. Where did you learn to write? The UEA?

Gem said...

I have no idea what you're all bickering about now! =D

Do Google searches and that...

Google