I keep getting chatted up by very old men at the swimming pool. Last week a really old guy offered me tips for improving my front crawl, and this evening an even older man with white hair asked me how many lengths I had done before enquiring about my job, family and location in relation to the leisure centre. I particularly like getting chatted up by geriatrics, it feels safe. I know that, if they tried any funny business, I could tackle them with ease, and probably defeat them. I can also swim a lot faster than most of them, that makes me feel smug.
I stay well away from any men under 60, because they all seem a bit creepy in their tight shorts, showing off as they swim up and down and up and down without stopping. Also, why do all men under 60 wear googles? Is there a biological reason for this?