Friday, December 29

wait wait wait

My blogs have been somewhat sparse and dull of late. This is due to a dirge of activity in recent weeks, I've literally been sat around waiting since mid-December. Waiting for my new job to begin. Waiting to move out. Waiting to hear if I've got into university or not. Luckily I was successful on the university front, and the date for moving has been confirmed as 20th Jan, but I'm still waiting on a start date for my new job in Walthamstow. Last time I checked they'd received all my references and health report, but hadn't got the results of my criminal record check back. In a position to offer me a start date they were then unable to proceed because the woman who's going to be my line manager was on holiday. Then factor in the two week shutdown that all educational establishments have at this time of year. Then you start getting a bit of an idea of where I'm at.

What's upsetting and confusing is that all this waiting is making me increasingly paranoid about the job, as if somehow in the past 4 weeks I have become a useless felon with a rubbish health history. This, of course, is not true, but I just want to START THE BLOODY JOB!!

And this, my friends, is why I'm not blogging much at the moment, because if I did then they'd all be like this tripe.

Friday, December 22

Crafty crap

I have a new favourite website. It is It tells you how to make beautiful crafty treats out of the most everyday (well, 5-7 out of 28) item in a woman's life.

This is my favourite decoration, for Hanukkah:

closely followed by this:

Monday, December 18

Tis the season to be...

... bored, actually.

New flat is sorted. Job is sorted. Work is nearly over (just one day left tomorrow). So now I am left with absolutely nothing to do. No more job applications to fill in. No more flat-hunting online. No more rabbits to clean out and play with. I've even wrapped all my presents and written out the tags.

Since returning from London on Friday I have achieved nothing whatsoever, proof is here, in the pudding:

In the last 3 days I have been:

- sleeping (I slept until midday today)
- watching repeats of Buffy The Vampire Slayer on Sky One
- breaking off chunks of marzipan from a big blob of it wrapped in cling film in the fridge, and eating them
- checking gmail 30 minutely to see if anybody else has a life that I can borrow in lieu of my own
- calling James incessantly while he's at work about pointless things
- going to the swimming pool with good intentions and...
- ... turning around and coming home immediately because it is closed all week due to 'technical difficulties'
- following my Mum around the house from room to room, saying very little, but simply enjoying close proximity with another human being
- avoiding my father, who is just as bored as I am
- going into the loft to retrieve items from past to take with me to new flat, and discovering my sister took most of them when she moved 3 months ago
- starting about 5 books and getting bored of them halfway through
- playing Super Mario Bros 3 on my NES, badly

Sunday, December 17


I'm becoming increasingly confused by those adverts for the Jamie Oliver Flavour Shaker.

Apparently it 'makes food taste better'. How? By mashing up a load of herbs and other condiments to create marinades and flavoured rubs, supposedly. Things that seasoned cooks like my mother have been making up for years and years without the aid of a Flavour Shaker. Shaking it around with the aid of the 'magic ball' bashes up all the ingredients and mingles the flavours. So basically, what he's saying is that it does exactly the same job as a pestle and mortar, or, failing that, a chopping board and a heavy object like a rolling pin. And it's double the price of both those options.

Hasn't stopped my mother asking for one for Christmas though. She's a bit in love with Jamie Oliver. I begged my sister not to buy it for her but she failed to take the same moral standpoint as me. In fact, I don't think my sister has ever taken a moral standpoint about anything. She seems to go through life smiling or crying, reacting to circumstances beyond her control. A bit like a newborn.

Friday, December 15

Sometimes you just have to...

... fill in a dull questionnaire.

Part 1: The Birth of You

Were you a planned baby?:
As far as I know, yes, though my mother may just be saying that to make herself look less of a hussy.

Were you the first?:
2nd, well, 2nd carried full-term.

Who was present at your birth?:
Mum. Dad. A midwife from New Zealand.

Were your parents married when you were born?:
Boringly, yes.

What is your birthdate?

Part 2: The Family

Are you parents married or divorced?
Married. Too married. They'll never split up. My Dad would perish within hours.

An only child?:
I have an older sister and a younger brother.

If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?:
See above.

What are your sibling's names?:
Joseph and Maria.

Which parent do you get along with best?:
Mother is the more sensible of the two, but I love them both equally.

What do you fight about?
Money. Mess. The usual.

Do you have step parents?:

Part 3: The Friends

Do you have more than one best friend?
Yes, absolutely. I have about 5!

What do you like to do when you are together?
Watch tv, drink tea, swear, shop, see gigs.

Do you share the same interests?:
Yes or we wouldn't do the above.

Which friend can you tell anything to?:
None. I never tell anyone anything important.

Part 4: Your Personality

How high/low is your self esteem?:
It goes through stages. Rapid cycling stages. It might have something to do with my condition.

Do you get depressed about things easily?:
Yes, yes I do.

Are you an extrovert (outgoing) or an introvert (reserved)?:
Both, depending on my mood.

Are you happy?:
I'm alright.

Do you live life to the fullest?:
If I did then would I have spent the hours between 2pm - 5pm fast asleep?

Part 5: Appearance

Are you comfortable with the way you look?
Not right now. I am hormone-spotty.

Describe your hair?

How do you dress?

Part 6: The Past

Were you a strange child?:
Yes, I once went mute for two days. I also hated anything new and would wail like a bereaved widow if I came into contact with the unknown. I hated touching people. I thought the school doctor was a paedo (actually, in hindsight, he probably was). My Mum wouldn't let me watch the news or documentaries on health issues/murderers because they'd drive me insane and prevent me sleeping for nights on end.

What did you used to love that you no longer do?
Jordan Knight. Robbie Williams. Philip Schofield. Bugsy Malone. Dougie Howser MD. Hobie from Baywatch. All these men LET ME DOWN.

Do you have the same friends?:
As what or whom?

Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?
Discovering that I was supposed to believe in God creating the world in 7 days and the existance of dinosaurs at the same time. I don't think I'm over that yet, actually.

Part 7: The Future

What is your ambition?:
To possess an item of large household furniture of my very own.

Are you scared of growing old?:
I'm still working on growing up!

Do you want to get married?:
Ha. Good question.

Part 8: The Outdoors

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?
Outdoors has nature and wildlife and fresh air. Indoors has a teapot, Vanessa on ITV1 and biscuits. No contest really, is there?

Favorite Season:

Spring. It makes me smile for no reason. And thinking this is the only way I can survive winter. Only. A. Few. More. Months.

Do you like walking in the rain?:
No, because my fringe gets it's cows-lick back and I look stupid. Also, my mascara runs.

Part 9: Food

Are you a vegetarian?:
Yes, because I eat veg, and also meat.

What is your favorite food?:

What food makes you want to gag?
Coleslaw. Potato salad. Ketchup. Mayo.

What is your favorite dessert?
Sticky Toffee Pudding.

What is your favorite restaurant?:
Pizza Express.

Are you a fussy eater?

Part 10: Experiences

What was one of your greatest experiences?:
Louis Tussauds Wax Museum in Great Yarmouth.

What was one of the worst?

Have you ever done drugs?
Only the rubbish ones.

Have you ever thought you were going to die?:

Thursday, December 14


I haven't blogged for a while now and that's because I've been up-and-down to London like a yo-yo viewing flats and finalising job details. It's all been incredibly stressful and I don't think I've had a full nights sleep for over two weeks.

So here's the latest on the moving situation - we think we've got a flat. This flat, in fact. We've paid our deposit and they've taken it off the market.

However, 2 things stand in our way:

1 - My terrible credit scoring
2 - James's recent overdue rent on his current flat (which was not his fault, but the fault of his housemate who didn't pay him on time, thus forcing James to pay some late, but hey, the landlords don't care about those human technicalities and may still penalise him)

1 could be overcome by the fact that I am not paying any of the rent anyway, it's all coming out of James's (healthier) bank account. But 2 is a problem. Hopefully they'll understand and accept it wasn't his fault. I don't really know what happens if they turn you down for bad references. Homelessness?

I'm trying not to think about it too much, because it makes me feel sick.

Sunday, December 3

sniff sniff sniff

A gut-wrenching day today as I finally rehomed my two beautiful rabbits Big Bun and Mrs Bun. I had to put them up for adoption as I couldn't guarantee I'd be able to take them with me to London, and it seemed unfair to condemn them to an uncertain future in which the best case scenario involved living in a tiny yard in the Big Smoke.

I found a fantastic couple to adopt them, with a huge outdoor rabbit enclosure, a specially adapted home (with all the electric wiring above rabbit-height, and so on) and an organic allotment. I know it's an excellent place for them to go, but that didn't stop me booing and hooing like a baby last night and saying things like 'my baby's going away, she's taking my baby away'. I managed to pull myself together by the time the adopters had arrived and handed them over relatively painlessly.

Now I just feel a bit empty really, I've always had pets and feel a bit strange with nothing to look after. That'll change, obviously, when I move in with James in January and have to see to his nutrition, health and basic hygiene needs. Anyway, he's promised that when we're settled into our new flat I can have a little dwarf house rabbit. So 'nur'.

Do Google searches and that...