So I've been on a bit of a downward curve these last few months and it's made me think a lot more about how I cope with situations and what triggers these depressive periods in my life. This, in turn, led me to consider what makes me happy. And I decided it's not earning over £20k a year, or having a nice flat, or being married or having children.
It's much more fleeting than that.
For me it's usually a Marlboro Menthol, a glimpse of my boyfriend, a word from my brother, a big crushing bear-hug from my Dad. It's a coffee and a chat with my best friend, driving my car through a big puddle and feeding my rabbits yoghurt drops through the wire of their hutch. It's watching tv late at night with my Mum, a piece of chocolate, a walk in Sandringham woods on a crisp autumn day and a cup of tea.
Those are the things that can cause me to stop for a moment and actually consider happiness. And even if I only have a few of those moments every year then it's worth all this bi-polar bollocks.