Thursday, September 21

A plague on all dentists!

My arsehole dentist butchered my teeth again today. I went back on Monday, complaining of pain in the tooth that was filled a few weeks ago. The dentist was very suspicious and basically treated me like a big liar. He kept saying 'not just sensitive tooth, pain in tooth, yes?'

'Yes' I replied.

Then he gave me some Sensodyne. Fucking Sensodyne?! That made me angry. 'No, look, it's not just sensitive teeth, or I'd have it in all my teeth wouldn't I? It only hurts on the tooth YOU messed with. It canes after I eat and throbs at night. It keeps me awake. I have to take Neurofen EVERY SINGLE DAY BECAUSE OF YOU.'

'Ok, ok.' He relented and told me to make an appointment for later in the week.

So I returned today to yet more suspicion. He kept trying to be all clever and catch me out by tapping all the other teeth in my mouth and going 'Same pain, yes?' but of course it wasn't, because when he tapped the other teeth it just felt odd, but when he tapped the affected tooth I nearly hit the ceiling. That finally convinced him. Thank God. It's all very scary at the dentist, you basically put yourself at his mercy. You lay there, pathetic in plastic bib and Woody Allen glasses, with your mouth open, helpless against the dental rape that's about to occur. Nobody can perform self-dentistry, it's not like you can do first aid on your own teeth is it? So you have to just lie there and trust in the NHS, and that's quite difficult when you think your dentist is TYRANT.

I just don't understand why he thinks I'd drive 15 miles to the dentist over and over again ... for kicks, perhaps? I don't enjoy being prodded and drilled. In fact, I hate going there, I feel sick in the run up to the appointment and sometimes have to swallow to prevent myself from vomiting when I'm in the chair. Perhaps he just couldn't be arsed to drill my tooth again. Fair enough, I suppose.

So the dentist finally did what he should have done 3 months ago and filled my root canals. He irrigated them and squirted medicine in them to clean out all the nasty badness. And then he put something like Plaster of Paris in my cavity as a 'temporary filling'. I have to go back in two weeks for more work but apparently THE BUTCHER is on holiday (I nearly did a little victory dance), so I am having a competant dentist instead. The saga continues...

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