Saturday, August 19

This is probably a blog no-no

But I have to go somewhere to whinge about missing my boyfriend and at least if I do it here my whining noises won't penetrate your ears and cause further offense. James has been in Scotland for nearly a week now, doing all sorts of comedy whoring at the Edinburgh festival. He'll be there until next weekend. I'm too skint to go visit him, and even if I did I'd be abandoned in bars and dingy clubs at 2am while he pimped himself out to some comedy promoter with probably 3 months more experience than him. So here I am, in Cambs, saving pennies and selling things on Ebay to desperately cobble together enough green to visit him in London within the next month.

It's not me making all the effort, if you were thinking it seemed that way, he's coming here in 2 weeks, but that's not the same. Firstly, my parents are here, so that's a bit ... odd. Secondly, I live in a village, which is as far removed from South Kensington (Boyface's patch) as it's possible to be. That means that we can't roll around in bed all day smoking and being filthy. We also can't nip out to the shops/pub for a nice brunch and read of the Saturday papers. We have to do that in the living room while Dad watches UK History documentaries on Stalin, belches and scratches his arse. We have to laugh at Mum's hilarious tales of doctor's surgeries and receptionist gaffes. We have to try not to laugh at every word that comes out of my brother's mouth.

What's going to make this next visit particularly FUN is that my big sister will be in residence at Casa O'Donnell. James has never met Maria. I am waiting to see what he makes of her. I have pre-warned him. I told him some of the little gems she's come out with in the last 12 months like "Oh, my ears are ringing! Can you hear?" and "I want to go out for the day, do we live near Bath?". He laughed at these. She is worse in real life. Oh dear.

I miss him so much that none of the above will stop me from dragging his boney arse to the Fens and clinging to him like a limpet for 3 days.

I am so pathetic for this man. It's embarrassing.

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