Wednesday, April 11

Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song...

I just found my very bestest friend from primary school on Facebook. I added her. But it made me feel sad. I spent every single day (and a lot of holidays) with this girl from age 6-11 and now all I do is add her to my Facebook and write stupid things on her virtual wall. It's like all the bike rides, shared detentions and lustful conversations about New Kids have been erased. This was the girl I who was with me when I learnt about periods, and when I was privy to the revelation that babies are made by SEX. We were actually inseparable. Except in class where we were separated because we couldn't be trusted to sit together (my fault).

One particularly fond memory is of us caterwalling VERY LOUDLY to try and drown out the drama-schooled class princess in music lesson. Nobody could tell us off because technically we weren't breaking any rules. And we made the her cry. Ha.

We also sang the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang theme repeatedly during cycling proficiency lessons, at a girl with a really shit bike. We were evil. But we had so much fun. And now she probably lives 10 mins down the road from me in London and I never see her.

Old chinwags

This is the sort of thing I used to talk about online with my Friend Who Shall Remain Unnamed before I grew up and got a boyfriend.

Gem says:
you know the most worrying thing about ......'s knob?

Gem says:
i could imagine, when i was looking at it, exactly what it would feel like in my hand

Gem says:
bluergh

FWSRU says:
HAHAHA

FWSRU says:
stop making me laugh i'm going to disturb someone

Gem says:
sorry

Gem says:
but

FWSRU says:
i could imagine worse though

Gem says:
was it like a wet shamois leather?

Gem says:
ANSWER THE QUESTION

FWSRU says:
oh sorry i was doing the thing

FWSRU says:
it was

FWSRU says:
i think

Gem says:
it was, lets just say it was

FWSRU says:
ohhhh i'm going to shut up or i'm on the verge of giving TMI

Gem says:
do it

FWSRU says:
it was the smell mainly

FWSRU says:
eewwww

Gem says:
GAH

Gem says:
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Gem says:
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Gem says:
*vomits*

Gem says:
like what?

Gem says:
cheese?

Gem says:
actually

Gem says:
don't answer

Gem says:
i feel unwell

FWSRU says:
HA

FWSRU says:
not cheese

FWSRU says:
just of knob.

Gem says:
thank god

FWSRU says:
although ....'s does not smell of knob so you can look him in the face

FWSRU says:
....... has an odd odour

FWSRU says:
in general

Gem says:
depends how often they wash

Gem says:
because some knobs

Gem says:
smell more knobby

Gem says:
than others

FWSRU says:
they do. this is true.

Gem says:
and some

Gem says:
smell

Gem says:
like calais

Tuesday, April 10

Ack

I rarely mention my bipolarity on here (ok, I do, but not too much) because, as a type 2 sufferer, it occurs in fits and starts. However it's days like today that force me to acknowledge it's existance and then I must acquiesce with it's symptoms. I feel like there is a low rumbling motor running very slowly somewhere in the back of my head. My brain aches. I feel sick. I can't get out of bed.

I daren't tell my boyfriend, because he's on his way to a big gig in Bath and I don't want him to worry unduly about me. I have just 45 minutes to perfect my 'I'm fine, really' act for my Mum when she comes home from work (I'm staying at my folk's in Norfolk until Thursday).

I want to crawl into a hole and remain there until I can feel the sun's rays on the back of my neck again.

Crouch End Celebs

I have made a new group on Facebook.

If you are a member first add me, then join!

It is here.

*joins hands*

I'm praying for sunny weather this week. I'm off work and fully intend to spend entire afternoons sat alone in the tiny beer garden of the Harringay Arms drinking pints of shandy and reading library books. It's not the same if you sit inside. And there's only one ladies toilet. Harumph.

Monday, April 9

Spring Review

Things that have made me happy:

- Take That. Just the fact that they are on the radio again. And that I can laugh at Howard's face. And yell 'SMILE SMILE SMILE' at 8am as I drive to work.
- Moving to Crouch End. Despite the frequent calls of 'Tabitha, Sebastian!' by middle-class mothers in Chanel shades as I walk down the Broadway I cannot help but love the little corner of London that I inhabit.
- Pomegranates. I always new they'd take off. I was ALL OVER them aged 11. Ahead of my time, again...
- Peep Show's imminent return to Channel 4.
- The Apprentice. I think it should be on every day. Like my other favourite tv show, Deal or No Deal.

Things to work on this season:

- My driving. No more 40mph down the Seven Sisters Road. No more hopping reds. From now on it's white-van-infuriating granny driving all the way.
- My money. Clearly this is a work in progress. I am doing a lot better than I was, though.
- DOOM! I need to stop thinking 'DOOM!' and sending myself into a spin every time something slightly nasty happens.
- Always having a supply of stamps. I never have any when I need them.

My predictions for Spring/Summer '07:

- The temperature will reach 100F at some point. Newspapers will go mental. Old people will perish. As per usual.
- At least 3 people in East/South London will get shot.
- Pete Doherty will perform at Glastonbury, and drop down dead shortly afterwards.
- Big Brother will start in May - and be shit.
- X Factor will return with Dermot O'Leary - and be shit.

Sunday, April 8

All over your boing

On my way to see my friends
who lived a couple blocks away from me (owh)
As I walked through the subway
it must have been about quarter past three
In front of me
stood a beautiful honey with a beautiful body
She asked me for the time
I said it'd cost her her name
a six digit number & a date with me tomorrow at nine

Did she decline? No
Didn't she mind? I don't think so
Was it for real? Damn sure
What was the deal? A pretty girl aged 24
So was she keen? She couldn't wait
Cinnamon queen? let me update
What did she say? She said she'd love to
rendezvous
She asked me what we were gonna do
said we'd start with a bottle of moet for two

Monday
took her for a drink on Tuesday
we were making love by Wednesday
and on Thursday & Friday & Saturday we chilled on Sunday
I met this girl on Monday
took her for a drink on Tuesday
we were making love by Wednesday
and on Thursday & Friday & Saturday we chilled on Sunday

I've renewed my Craig David obsession from about 5 years ago.

I'm thinking of making my own version of Seven Days that catalogues a perfect week of Gem-lovin'. It will include a trip to M&S in Crouch End to purchase seafood risotto ready meals and an outing to Hackney City Farm. It will go a bit like this:

On my way to M&S
the store is a couple blocks away from me (owh)
As I walked down Crouch Hill
it must have been about quarter past three
In front of me
stood a beautiful hotty with a beautiful risotto
He asked me for the time
I said it'd cost him his name
a six digit number & a date with me tomorrow at nine

Did he decline? No
Didn't he mind? I don't think so
Was it for real? Damn sure
What was the deal? A pretty boy aged 24
So was he keen? He couldn't wait
Cinnamon queen? I hope not, mate!
What did he say? He said he'd love to
rendezvous
He asked me what we were gonna do
said we'd start with a bottle of Babycham for two

Monday
took him to the zoo on Tuesday
we were making cakes by Wednesday
and on Thursday & Friday & Saturday we ate roast beef on Sunday
I met this boy on Monday
took him to a zoo on Tuesday
we were making cakes by Wednesday
and on Thursday & Friday & Saturday we ate roast beef on Sunday

Five was the time
cos I'll be getting mine
and he was looking fine
Loud talker
He told me
He'd love to watch Most Haunted with me all night long
Ooh I loved the way he kicked it
from the front to back he flipped (back he flipped it, ooh the
way he
kicked it)
And I oh oh I yeah
hope that he'd care
cos Derek Acorah will always be there

Ooh yeah
I'm not a girl to play around baby
Ooh yeah
cos a one night stand isn't really fair
From the first impression boy hmm you don't seem to like Take That
Cos there's no need to chat for there'll be plenty for that
From the subway to the W7
endless ringing of my phone
When you feeling all alone
all you gotta do
is just call me call me

Saturday, April 7

Fuuuuuuuck

I got caught running a red light on the Seven Sisters Road. Yes, that makes me a dickhead, I know this. It will also cost me a pretty penny and put 3 points on my young license. Which means that if I get 3 more I have to take my test again. I feel sick.

Do Google searches and that...

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