Wednesday, August 31

Love me, love my Mooncup!

I'm one of many thousands that have scoffed at the Mooncup ads on the backs of doors in health centres and festival loos. "Ha ha ha!" I said, "A plastic egg cup to collect your PERIOD BLOOD! Nyuh nyuh nyuh... GROSS."

That was when I was young.

Now I am thirty and, quite frankly, getting bored of my periods. Sixteen years of paying tax on tampons. And remembering to buy them. BORING. So when I discovered that a close friend used a Mooncup I quizzed her like a Mastermind contestant. So if you're at all curious, below are the questions I asked. And my own answers. Reader, I married it.

How do you get it up there?

Like this:

This is officially called the 'Labial Fold' but to make it more interesting I like to call it 'Rosebud' in a whisper. You can fold it like an 'M' or an 'S' shape, but trust me, this is the best way to make it as small as possible. Unlike tampons (which sit quite high) it only sits about 1-2cm up your vagina, so really it's no more difficult to insert than a non-applicator tampon (which I can't insert, btw). Once it's in it pops open (if you remember the 80s, it's a bit like this), creating a vacuum, and your vag muscles hold it in place. Done.

Can you feel it?
No more than you can a tampon. Unless you don't trim the stem. I did this straight away because I don't relish the idea of sore bits.

Does it leak?
Mine leaked, a tiny, tiny bit, once, when I put it in sleepy as hell and smacked off my tits on co-codamol, at 4am. This was the only time and it was no more than any tampon ever did. Honest.

How do you get it out?
Most internet horror stories about using Mooncups cite this as the most horrific part. But this bit is FUN. It simply involves the art of BEARING DOWN. This just means squeezing your vag muscles, although having a wee will do a similar job. If you've never squeezed your vag muscles before (why wouldn't you? It keeps them taut!) then just have a wee before you try to take it out, the squeezing during the weeing will do half the work for you. You grasp the bottom, and give the base of the Mooncup a little squeeze until you hear a delicious slurping sound (this is the vacuum breaking). Then you just pull it out, keeping it upright the whole time.

Can you pee/poo with it in?
Yes. The fanny vacuum makes it easier to wee and poo with one of these babies in than a tampon, which is basically just floating around in your vag. I could never pee with a tampon in, I'd end up birthing it into the loo halfway through. Ditto number twos. The Mooncup is stuck up there like a plunger, dude, urinate away. If it comes down a bit just give it a gentle push up.

Isn't it GROSS when you empty it?
Underneath, and all around the outside of the Mooncup it is clean and dry. I just want to reiterate this fact: CLEAN AND DRY. Thank the fanny vacuum. It is cleaner than a manky tampon cord. It is cleaner than a sanitary towel. Your hands needn't touch blood at all during the entire process. Yes inside it will contain a small amount of period blood, but to date I have never even hit the 5ml mark, and I thought I had heavy periods. Tip it down the loo. Rinse your Mooncup under the hot tap. Admire how clean it is before inserting it again.

That's it. It's not foul at all. You see no more gore than you do with tampons. So calm down, ladies, and embrace the fanny vac. You'll save over £5 a month!


Pinkoddy said...

I love this post. Haha at the bit where you admire how clean it is - lol so true.

Dino Girl said...


jasmine said...

I am trying it for the first time this month and I hope Moonie and I stay friends forever! :-)

Anonymous said...

Great description of what it's like to use a Mooncup. I'm happy with mine too.

Two points in which I'm different from you:

One time, it was sucked way up inside me overnight and I had to do LOTS of squeezing to get it out. I even tried using chopsticks! It was way up there! Eventually I read somewhere that if you use the muscles you use to poo, then it will come down. That worked for me.

The other point - I lose so much blood, I'm shocked. The Mooncup lets you measure how much you're losing. I didn't realise my periods were this heavy. In one hour this morning, my Mooncup was so full that when I gently took it out, it was spilling everywhere. Genuinely gross. I even heard a plop of a solid gunky bit when I tipped it into the toilet. I lost 42ml yesterday and 24ml so far today - and it's only lunchtime. A normal amount over an entire period is meant to be 30-40ml. One out of 10 women lose more than 80ml per cycle (according to the NHS website).

I am frankly quite horrified at how much blood I am losing.

So you're lucky that it's clean and dry underneath - it's not the same for women who have really heavy periods. I actually think the Mooncup is better for women with heavy periods than pads/tampons because there's less chance of leakage. I still have to wear a pad with it because I do leak a little bit when it gets full so quickly. Still, it's only my third month, maybe I'll get the hang of it better and won't need pads any more :)

Thanks for the post.

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