So here are four reasons why I continue to miss my Mum every single day; four reasons why nobody that loved her will ever forget her.
She was the BEST cook:
Look at her here on Xmas day. Look at the RANGE on food on the table! This was the last Christmas dinner she ever cooked for me in 2007, she made it to 2010, but was too sick to help with any of the preparations. Rather than remembering that heartbreaking Christmas I'd much rather remember this one, when we were all healthy and happy and together.
She was a great daughter:
This picture of Mum and Nan was taken about five months before her diagnosis. In this picture nobody has any idea of what's to come, and that it why I love it. I am so glad she didn't have to suffer for too long, and that we all got to say goodbye to her before she died.
She was funny as hell:
Mum's misbehaving on a boat ride up the Thames here. On her last night I lay with her and thanked her for the million or so things she'd given me. Her sense of humour is the one I'm most proud of. She got funnier as she got older, God knows what she'd have been like at 70!
She was my best friend:
I adored spending time with Mum. Even at 28 I'd still drag along behind her on trips to the supermarket, just for the pleasure of sharing her company. That's why I can grieve for her so openly; there is no baggage, and no pain, just love and loss and laughter.
We both knew that God and the afterlife were a myth. We both laughed at psychic reading shows on TV. I don't believe she is an angel floating around outside my head, or standing behind me. But I feel her inside every day. Rest in peace, Mummy. Love you.