Sunday, February 1

snow and curtain-twitching

I've been keeping indoors today, like a pensioner, avoiding the cold. I'm praying to all that is unholy for the snow to become relentless overnight and render my school closed tomorrow. I've been sitting by the window willing the flakes to fall bigger, harder and faster. Official school policy on cold weather states that "If there is snow on the ground then please do not send your child to school as we will be closed."

What a fantastic policy!

My hou
se is at the centre of a t-junction, and is therefore excellent for spying on people. I often see Bernard Butler and Stuart from Queer As Folk wandering down the hill in my direction, only to cruelly turn and walk towards the shop. Bloody teases. This is the view as I look out of my front room.

We have some fantastic neighbours who are very like the Klopecks from The Burbs. They are three men: one large, bearded fat man, one wirey, thin hunchback, and a strange guy with a studded leather jacket and a thin, black combover that looks a little like Professor Snape from Harry Potter. They only emerge at night and then it is to stand outside their house a
rguing with each other or playing with their homemade remote control car. Often they have ridiculous mini-dramas over tiny little things which always culminate in the greasy Snape man stomping off in the direction of the offy. I have no idea how these three characters came to live together in the suburban paradise that is Crouch End. Like finds like, I guess.

Their house is in the middle. The paintwork is less white than the surrounding houses.

There may be bodies in the boot of that car. I can't be 100% sure. In the summer holidays I am going to dig in their back garden, break into their basement, and crank up their Victorian furnace before exploding half the street. You're welcome to come along, order pizza and enjoy the ride.

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