Monday, April 21

I have decided...

... that I only like Jeremy Kyle when his guests are from West Country or Wales. Londoners make very boring guests. Mancunians and Yorkshiremen/women are terrifying. I much prefer morbidly fat people with a chip on their shoulder and a lilt to their accent. Are they really so bored that they need to go on Jeremy Kyle to spice up their lives?

Not too hot this week. Have had an ear infection that's lasted AGES. I'm on the third lot of antibiotics for it. Subsequently my immune system is so fuckered that I have caught a stinking cold, rendering me well and truly immobile. I am relying on Tixylix children's cough syrup to sort me out.

Viruses and malaise always bring on bouts of depression, and recent events are no exception. I have been hiding in my flat and eating the entire contents of my freezer to avoid venturing outside. It's not a very healthy state of affairs is it ladies and gents?

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