Friday, October 12

A kooky little story that I wrote in class today...

So, the task was to take a fairy tale and give it our own twist. Mine began thus:

Small plumes of fog emerged from the mouth of the yawning policeman who stood, tasting shocking cold air with each intake of breath. The freezing stagnant mist penetrated his nose, ears, lips and any other part of his body that wasn't covered by multiple layers of wool. There our sleepy centurion stood, silently steaming beneath his helmet and boots.

A ring of a bicycle bell marked the arrival of the newspapers, and brought with it the morning, a herald that the day had begun. Big Ben chimed six times, drowning out the distant whirr of a milk float returning to it's depot.

That imposing black door, that famous door, that had seen and heard too much readied it's hinges, anticipating the usual daily flood of press officer, aides, VIPs and household staff. The black, uninviting railings held steady, confident in their ability to weather whatever scandal might pass their posts that day. Expensive, yet conservative curtains remained closed, they were not open for business, yet.

A blanket of damp cloud enveloped Downing Street, avoiding number ten and rendering it's neighbours hazy and insignificant. Birds began to chirp bright harmonies into the dark skies. The traffic groaned, joining the dawn symphony and a wizened old janitor swept the pavement, with the delicacy and pride of an artist at easel.

A black car swished past the armed gates and stopped outside number ten. The door thudded closed, accompanied by footsteps. Westminster was waking up.

So that was just the beginning of a modern version of Robin Hood, which I have briefly outlined in bullet points below. I wrote it in conjunction with Alice from my course, whose writing was equally good (if not, slightly better than mine)! See if you can guess who Robin Hood is. The winner gets a prize of 50p.

  • Robin Hood is a renowned 'revolutionist' Celtic politician with some power and influence.
  • Robin Hood disgraces himself by impersonating an animal on reality tv with the beautiful Maid Rula.
  • This angers the Blair, the Sheriff of London, who exiles Robin to Waltham Forest.
  • Robin Hood rebels, and gathers around him men of similar political ideology, and forms his own party to rival Sheriff Blair's.
  • The party cause minor political mischief and get on Sheriff Blair's nerves.
  • Robin Hood gets his own radio show on 5live, and his following grows, antagonising Sheriff Blair further.
  • Robin Hood has the strange idea that he may one day be Sheriff of London.
  • King Bush comes back from his Holy War to try and restore order to London, accidentally blowing up Waltham Forest.

Yes, that is what I do at university on taxpayers money. Har har har.

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