For my birthday I mostly...

... stayed up for hours watching ITV's Quizcall. I implore you to check it out here or here if you have not done so already.

'WORD BEGINS WITH AN 'A', END'S WITH AN 'E', WHAT CAN IT BE? A FRUIT. IT'S A FRUIT. THINK SWEET. THINK JUICY. THINK...

*RING RING*

HELLO GORGEOUS WELCOME TO QUIZCALL, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?'

'JOAN'

'HI JOAN WHERE ARE YOU CALLING FROM TODAY, DARLING?

'ESSEX, APRI...'

'AND WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER?'

'...COT. APRICOT?'

'APRICOT! THAT'S A BRILLIANT ANSWER, LET'S HAVE A LOOK...'

*NEE NAAWWWW*

'OOOOHHH JOAN, SO CLOSE, NEVERMIND, SUCH A GOOD GUESS! COME ON EVERYONE, PICK UP THOSE PHONES, IT MIGHT NOT BE IN A STRAIGHT LINE ON THE BOARD, REMEMBER, IT MIGHT BE SNAKING ABOUT, SNAKING ABOUT! IT'S A FRUIT. 5 LETTERS. FIRST LETTER 'A'. THINK 'PIES', THINK 'CRUMBLES'

*RING RING*

'HI CALLER WHAT'S YOUR NAME?'

'D-D-DAVID...'

'HI DAVID! WHERE ARE YOU CALLING FROM TONIGHT?'

'CARLISLE'

'AND WHAT ANSWER DO YOU HAVE FOR US ON QUIZCALL TONIGHT?'

'OBBOJEAN'

'SORRY DAVID HONEY, WHAT WAS THAT?'

'AUBERGINE'

'AUBERGINE? OK, LET'S HAVE A LOOK AND SEE IF IT'S THERE!'

*NEEE NAAWWWW*

'OOOOOH DAVE HUN, I REALLY THOUGHT YOU HAD IT THERE! NINE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY ONE PEOPLE ON THE LINE NOW. WE'RE LOOKING FOR A FRUIT. FIVE LETTERS. MAYBE SOMETHING YOU'D GIVE TO A TEACHER OR PUT IN A FLAN. IT COULD BE UPWAYS, DOWNWAYS, SIDEWAYS, DIAGONAL-WAYS. IT COULD BE SNAKING ABOUT ON THE BOARD. IT COULD BE ANYWHERE. TWENTY THOUSAND POUNDS. JUST ONE PHONECALL GUYS. ONE PHONECALL. THINK WHAT YOU'D DO WITH THAT TWENTY THOUSAND POUNDS. OH, THE THINGS YOU COULD BUY!'