Leaving yoooou is easy cos you're booootifuuul!

I resigned from my job today. I had hoped to put it off for a couple of weeks, but discovered that the daft college I work at has a six week notice period (What kind of place makes you give six weeks? Everyone knows that you give a month's notice. Duh), I start my new job in 6 weeks and 1 day, the time was now.

I wasn't quite sure how to draft the letter. So I wrote two. One was a fantasy letter that I would only send in my wildest nightmares. The other was a more realistic version which sucked up a bit so I'd still get a good reference. I then compared and contrasted the two and chose accordingly. I am going soon, and therefore don't really care about them being on the internet, so I'm posting up both versions here. They are preserved forever here in electronic form.

Realistic Version
"Dear ****,

I am writing to tender my resignation from the position of ****. I will work my six weeks notice, making my last day in your employment 2nd January, 2007.

My reason for leaving is mainly financial. I cannot afford to support myself any longer on a part-time wage. I am moving to London in the New Year, and starting a position as a LSA in a school in Hackney, before beginning my PGCE course in September 2007. Then I can hopefully begin the career I have been aiming towards; as a full time teacher of English and Media.

I have really enjoyed working in your department, and have found all staff to be helpful and supportive at all times. I will be sad to leave the college after over 2 years of employment, but I must move on if I am to progress further with my career.

I want to thank you for offering me the opportunity to work within your department, and to assure you that I will continue to work diligently throughout my notice period to make the staffing transition as smooth as possible.

Yours sincerely,"

Fantasy Version
"Dear Bureaucratic Workhorses,

I have finally succeeded in my task of finding a job that is not at your institution, and tender my resignation forthwith.

I think the straw that broke this camel's back was when you turned me down for a tutoring job because I am 'better suited to teaching', mere days after only offering me a paltry 1 hour a week teaching schedule with wages that, quite frankly, an illegal immigrant wouldn't be able to survive on. You were quite right, however, I am better suited to teaching, and that's why I'm getting the hell out of your institution and going to London, where the streets are paved with gold, not shit, and I can complete a degree course.

I will, grudgingly, work out my leave period, but don't expect me to care, or anything like that.

Please give my most heartfelt thanks to the canteen staff, who provided me with nourishment every day at 10.30am, and especially to whichever kitchen assistant ices the carrot cakes slices.

Viva!

Gem xx"

You probably can guess which version I went with, obviously. It felt good to type the angry one out too, though, and give vent to my frustrations.

So now I have no choice but to grow up, move to London and be with my lovely boyfriend. I just hope he doesn't change his mind or anything!