Sunday, September 17

DO THE RUDEBOX! SHAKE YOUR RUDEBOX!

I saw pop supremo Robbie Williams for the 5th time last night. He only gets 7/10, I'm sad to say, I've seen him on much better form.

I tnink poor Robbie might have been ill, because he seemed flat and lacking in the usual energy he has onstage. The audience, despite their giant pink sequinned cowboy hats and fluffy bunny ears (yes ladies, that will definitely make Robbie notice you and want to have sex with you) weren't enraptured by him like they have in the past. So what we ended up with was a handful of new songs, mechanically performed, a few old favourites, and a few Jimmy Tarbuckesque jokes.

I will never understand why he always gets that rentatwat, hanger-on Jonathan Wilkes on stage with him, if you're not au fait with the Robbie bandwagon and don't know who I'm talking about then you only need look at his face:


Yes, now you understand what I'm talking about.

Wilkes was monkeying around for a good 20 minutes or so. I just wanted him to fuck off so Robbie could do his job properly and get on with singing some songs. But oh no, we had to stand and wait, while Butlins Redcoat Wilkes attemped to get the audience to participate in his low-rent caberet, watching it was akin to attending a Hoseasons Saturday night 'Little Tigers' disco (with free BBQ!) aged 8 and being forced by your parents into doing the hokey cokey.

Nevertheless, I liked:
- Feel
- Kids
- Come Undone

Yes, they are my faves, but I do like Rudebox, even if the lyrics are ridiculous.

Robbie's definitely not as pretty as he used to be. Approximately three years ago he was an unstoppable force of SEX, but now he makes me squirm a little. I wanted my lovely boyfriend, not this gurning moron. I was standing (quite near the front!) thinking, "well, you're very pretty, Robbie, but you're not half as good as my Jamesy". He kept kept putting his hand down his trousers and all the girls were swooning, but it rather saddened me because his package is VERY disappointing, and I have it on good authority that he is gentially-challenged.

The evening ended well though, I was feeling very pleased with myself, because when I saw Take That in June (MUCH MUCH better concert than this, btw) I was stuck in the car park until 2.30am, eventually arriving at my house past 4am to discover my parents had called the police in my absence. This time we parked the other side of the bowl and walked to it, and I was home just before 1am. Get in!

**Just seen a review on the Observer website here: http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,,1874008,00.html

Go read, it's better than wot I writ.**

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I heard last night that he'd had to cancel some dates because of "Stress and exhaustion". I used to be into him, but he doesn't do much for me either these days.

Stumpfix said...

I think you mean "genitally challenged". "Gentially challenged" would mean he was lacking a particular flowering plant.

Poor Robbie Williams. My knob is enormous. Last night I had a dream that my father and paternal grandfather were arguing over who could have a incestuous sexual relationship with me. Get me...

Dino Girl said...

At least my blog makes sense, Bumface!

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